So You Still Think You're Different
by of-souffles-and-daleks
Summary: the sequel to And You Thought You Were Different! Alex returnes, with a brand new secret. *ON HIATUS*
1. The Reunion

_So sorry for the wait…our computer went a bit spaz and then crashed so I couldn't upload._

_Thanks to all that reviewed, especially Jack and Sapphire!_

_I'm back with a story that is hopefully funnier, stranger and quite frankly amazinger than the last one!_

_All…uuh..constructive(?) critisim(?) has been taken into account, I hope(?)_

_I'm sleepy_

_Deal with it._

_Or you can go die in a hole like Will Smith._

_Basically, in this book there was a picture of a man in a hole, who looked like Will Smith. And my mate always says 'Go Die in a Hole', so we now have a strange insult thingy._

_If you haven't read __**And You Thought You Were Different**__, I suggest you do because this will probably make no sense to you otherwise!_

_Enjoy__ my readers!_

_Hatsyetta._

*** In the coffee house ***

Emma: …..so I told him that if he only wanted me for sex he'd never see me again.

Ismay: so did he only want you for sex?

Emma: yes. Which is why you haven't seen him for three years.

Hatsyetta: so, where's Taylor?

Jacob: where have you been? Lucy's moving out today.

Karis: god, how is he?

Jacob: bad. His wife's a lesbian and they've known each other for ages!

Hatsyetta: runs in the family, doesn't it?

Emma: how?

Hatsyetta: remember? Ross…Carol...Susan…Ben…

Emma: but Ross is my dad. I think…….I hope……oh my god my mum's a slut!

Karis: yes he is, but you're not a man. Otherwise you'd be gay yourself.

Ismay: all I can say is, you guys are lucky you don't have my family. My mum is a neat-freak, my dad's obsessed with porn, my brother married a lezzie and I have a gay granddad!

Karis: look, mum won't let any of us even touch meat!

Hatsyetta: too bad the pizza with pepperoni wasn't veggie!

Jacob: mum's gonna freak when she finds out.

Hatsyetta (menacingly): if you tell her I will shove your face up your ass!

Emma: Hatsyetta, Jane's gonna announce your name next. You better get up. Any idea what you're gonna sing?

Hatsyetta: I'll think of something.

Karis: good luck!

Jane: give it up for Hatsyetta Hannigan!

*whooping*

Hatsyetta: thank you. This is a song my mum used to sing every time our cat did a poop.

*everyone laughs*

'Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, what are they…..

* The window smashes and a girl runs through*

Girl: Mike! Monica! Rachel! Phoebe! Oh pheebs! *hugs Hatsyetta*

Hatsyetta: no, not pheebs, Hatsyetta

Girl: what?

Hatsyetta…Phoebe's daughter?

Emma: and Rachel's daughter?

Ismay: Monica's daughter?

Jacob: Mike's son?

*Taylor walks in and the girl looks very confused*

Taylor: hey guys.

Girl: Chandler?

Taylor: no, Chandler's depressed son.

Girl: why are you depressed? Oh, right.

Taylor: hey, I know you! I think. Are you the girl who snogged me in fifth grade?

Girl: can anyone take me to see phoebe, mike, Monica, Rachel, Ross, chandler, Joey or even Mr Heckles? Wait, not Mr Heckles, he's dead. the others?

Karis: look, I'll take you up to see my mum if you really want.

Girl: oh, could you?

Hatsyetta: yeah, sure. Ismay'll pay.

Ismay: uh, no! You owe me $45 already!

Karis: yea, but she'll pay you back once she gets her Record Deal.

Ismay: which will be never.

Hatsyetta: do you want me to kill you?

Ismay: I'm good.

* In the cab*

Emma: so…why dya wanna see mum and dad so much?

Girl: well….we've known each other since you were born.

Karis: that's impossible! You're younger that us.

Taylor: waaaaaaay younger.

Girl: look, you're parents'll….wait! were here? They still live here?

Ismay: mum, dad and Joey do. Ross and Rachel live across the street and Mike and Phoebe live three blocks away.

Girl: they never move, do they?

Emma: no, let's go.

*they walk up the stairs and knock on Monica's door*

Monica (opening the door): yes? *see's the girl* OMG! Guys, it's Alex!

Chandler: look, you said the pizza girl was Alex *see's Alex* oh.

Joey: LEXY! *runs into her and gets a nose bleed* oh. Forgot.

Alex: it's fine. I have better self-control.

Emma: MUM! There's someone who wants to see you.

Rachel: look, if it's that girl selling cookies…*see's Alex* Oh My God.

Alex: look, I came to ask a favour.

Monica: sit down, I'll get everyone here and we'll talk.

Alex: ok. Wait…you changed the cushions.

Chandler: well, we had to because she almost killed Joey literally minutes after you left.

Ismay: why?

Monica: because of him you're first word was fuck and you're first sentence was 'what the fuck I want a strippler'.

Ismay: a strippler?

Chandler: I reckon you were trying to say 'What the Fuck I want a stripper.'

Taylor: boy. Better then my first words!

Hatsyetta: what were you're first words?

Taylor: mommy. And sentence 'mommy dada did poopie'

Emma: that's still pretty good!

Alex: look, I came to ask you something, not hear what you're first words where.

* 2 minutes later the gang and kids are all crowded round the table*

Phoebe: so, what was it you wanted?

Alex: well…I was wondering if I could stay here, Monica. I kinda have no-where to live at the moment.

Chandler: why?

Alex: well….me and my boyfriend… well…

Joey: had sex, yea.

Alex: I thought I was the mind reader! Well…he was like me. Like, _like_ me.

Mike: aaaah.

Ross: as in, a…

Alex: just the v one. But, yea. And... well…*starts 'crying' as she can't cry*

Rachel: honey, don't cry! Tell us.

Emma: it can't be that bad!

Alex: It's the worse it can get.

Phoebe: worse than being……

Alex: way worse. *still 'crying'*

Monica: well, what is it?

Alex: well…I'm *sniff* I'm…*sniff* I'm pregnant.

_Dun dun duuuh!_

_What's gonna happen?_

_I already know! HA!_

_First to review gets a sneak peek, like always._

_Tell me if u like it! I'm gonna continue anyways, so HA HA HA!_

_I'm hoping it's better than Dreams Come True……read it when u __have da time. It's bad. Really bad. _

_REVIEW!_

_Luv u guys!_

_Hatsyetta._

_Chocolate, not Hannigan._


	2. The Truth Comes Out

_Hello again!_

_Many thanks for the reviews!_

_Next chapter….will they help her? And what will the younger one's say when they find out?_

***In Monica's apartment***

Monica: what?

Ross: she's pregnant.

Monica: what?

Rachel: she's pregnant?

Monica: what?

Joey: *acting like he's explaining it to a three year old* she's got a baby in her tummy.

Monica: a baby?

Chandler: a baby. She had sex, now she has a baby. Like you had.

Monica: I had babies?

Phoebe (to mike): should we slap her?

Mike: ALEX IS HAVING A BABY. SHE'S PREGNANT.

Monica: a pregnant baby?

Alex: look, even I wasn't that shocked.

Emma: how did you react?

Alex: I didn't talk for a few minutes. Then I tried to cry.

Joey: you can't cry? You didn't tell us that!

Taylor: what kind of person can't cry?

Monica: a baby?

Alex (angry): LOOK! I'm a pregnant Vamwolfzardmaid. Yes, I'm having a vampire baby! Yes we used protection. No he didn't eat a sandwich whilst we had sex, and Joey, what the hell?

Joey: I can't help it! That's just how my mind works! And even I find time for food between sex!

*Alex, meanwhile, gets angry and starts trembling*

Phoebe: oh god.

Mike: Alex, calm down.

Chandler: calm down!

Ross: Rach, get Emma out of here.

Emma: what's wrong with her?

Rachel: ok. Everyone, get outside.

Jacob: No!

Monica: a vampire baby? OH MY GOD!

Chandler: get out of here NOW!

*Alex suddenly bursts and becomes a dog*

Karis: aaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Hatsyetta: ooh, I could make a song about this! 'I once knew a girl, and she was only 18. But when she start's to tremble, you know that she's angry….la lala la la la lalalala lalala lalala lalalaah' _(to the tune of Phoebe's 'heart attack' song at the end of The One Which Could Have Been)_

Ismay: what is wrong with her?

Chandler: look, she needs calming down, I'll explain it outside.

Monica: do you think the baby sucks blood?

Mike: look, let's calm her down.

***In the hall***

Chandler: Alex is a special girl. She's not…18. She's uum….52.

Hatsyetta: what?

Chandler: well…she's a mermaid.

All: *gasp*

Chandler: a werewolf….

All: *gasp*

Chandler…..a wizard…..

All: *gasp*

Chandler: and…..a vampire.

All: *gasp*

Karis: what?

Taylor: a _vampire?_

Ismay: oh. _That's_ why she looks so beautiful!

Hatsyetta: _I'm _confused.

Ismay: I was researching vampires ages ago in 6th grade. I found out that they are beautiful, don't age, live forever, drink blood, are incredibly fast, can't pis, poop, eat or cry and cannot reproduce.

Hatsyetta: and I'm still confused. When did we do that?

Karis: oh I remember that!

Hatsyetta: I don't!

Ismay: you were either there and not paying attention, or couldn't be bothered to do it and was 'ill' when we had to hand it in_. (a/n. the real Hatsyetta is like that too!)_

Hatsyetta: I was 'ill'. Or the teacher liked me. Which is impossible. I was ill

Jacob: but she's pregnant. If she can't pis, how did she take the test? And how did she get pregnant?

Chandler: her boyfriend was a vampire. And she can read thoughts. She probably read the baby's thoughts.

*Alex appears halfway through his speech*

Alex: that is exactly what I did.

Taylor: cool! What were they?

Alex: well, then they where: where is mummy? Has she left me? She hasn't spoken for ages. It's nice in here, but it's too dark. I'm scared!

Jacob: cool!

Alex: And at the moment, they're: mommy has a nice voice. Why does she smell like a dog?

Ismay: Oh Kay…not freaky at all.

Hatsyetta: so, do you eat humans or just take their blood?

Alex: neither. I'm a vegetarian.

Hatsyetta: really?

Alex: private joke. I only feast on animals. And I only eat raw meat.

Karis: but vampires don't eat.

Alex: look, this could be a long story, and I still need to explain to Monica that I am having no contractions, the baby is a vampire and I am not gonna eat a meatball sub. Wait…that's Joey. I need to tell Monica I'm not having contractions and the baby is a vampire. She's in shock

Hatsyetta: worse that when mum found out I ate meat?

Alex: way worse.

*She disappears again*

Chandler: I'll get her to e-mail you.

*a man comes up the stairs*

Man: you're doing it again.

Taylor: we're not doing anything Mr Hatsy.

Emma: we've just found out our friends pregnant, and Monica is in shock. Come back tomorrow.

Mr Hatsy: fine, but I'll be back. You're disturbing my Oboe practise.

Emma: you don't play the Oboe.

Mr Hatsy: I could play the Oboe.

Karis: in that case we'll have to ask _you_ to keep it down!

Mr Hatsy: I could keep it down. *walks off*

Chandler: ya know, he reminds me of Mr Heckles.

Hatsyetta: who?

Alex (from the apartment): Chandler, come in here! She's asking where I got my baby from and why I ate it.

Chandler: guys, go to work. Ismay, make sure Taylor doesn't wander off to try and win Lucy back.

Ismay: ok.

*they all wander off*

_Hatsyetta_

_p.s. like the Mr Hatsy? Mr Heckles rox, I thought we needed another one. So I came up with Mr Hatsy (etta). Just had to keep him alive. _

_Omg, I watched the one where heckles dies last night. I cried so much. And I want the lamp. And the clock. _

_Don't ask me why._

_Oh, BTW, this week I am off in Devon for a week, then to a party. But I will be writing a fic about my week. So stay tuned._

_And go see Street Dance._

_It rocks._

_Seriously._

_I like reviews. _

_And, as always, the first to review gets a preview._

_I think I said that last time._

_And it didn't happen._

_Sorry!_

_But it will happen this time_

_Only not for a week or so._

_Hatsyetta_

_Hatselena_

_Hatsune_

_And (for karis) hettie. *shudder*_

_Review._

_Please_

_Please_

_Please?_

_Luv u guys!_


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